The Dating Chronicles: California Dreaming — Day 1, planes, texts, wine, 50-Shades guy, and returning to Self

The Dating Chronicles often contain some foul language, sexual content, pushing boundaries and very open-minded thinking. Read on if you are aware of this and are not judging my perspective, lifestyle or general musings. We are all on our own journey. I share my thoughts and experience with those who may benefit or become inspired to find their own magic. I post this disclaimer because I understand that’s not for everyone… therefor if you are already offended, stop here. If you are intrigued… read on! I wish you luck in finding yourSelf, your inner magic and fun while dating.

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I arrived in California yesterday. It’s amazing to me how my wanderlust soothes my soul. Getting on a plane and heading to ‘some other place’ is a tonic for my anxiety, a reset on my whole outlook of life and something I will begin to pursue again with more focus. To me, there is simply something magical about getting out of your routine, changing perspective and shifting your awareness. It’s not a stressor for me at all. I pack with ease, travel to the airport with no worries of timing –if you’ve ever been on a plane delayed because they’re waiting on a family of 5 to get their shit together and show up, then you know the odds of you missing a flight are slim– no stress through security or boarding, no fear of flying or all the weird things that run through your mind that could go wrong. I fully believe it’s because I’ve done it so much. Now it’s a thrill, a love and an absolute joy.

That first palm tree outside the airport is like the bell for Pavlov’s dog, assuring me a week-plus of Zen.

Today, right now, as I write this, I see how I could use that same experience in dating. 

Do it more, fear it less. 

Heck yea! Epiphany!

Yes, let’s get out there so much with so many different people that it becomes a thrill, a love and an absolute joy. I’m not talking about having sex with everyone and being in intimate relationships. I’m talking about dating. Meeting people, experiencing other points of view, other perspectives and having a true awareness of what’s out there. Being completely transparent with them all about what you are doing and let it liberate and empower you. 

Me, empower me… That’s what I incarnated for, to live more and fear less. Quite a daunting adventure yes? 

I know how I work and this is a challenge I am willing to accept in the greater good of researching what it is that I truly want, what I deserve and not settling for anything less than what is absolutely best for me. That way when you meet someone you know you want to be with, you’ll have others to compare to, to choose your preference and possibilities. Odds are, there will be so much less fear and LOTS more bliss and that is what it is all about. 
Let’s face it, we often fear dating and putting ourselves out there because we are afraid of rejection. Increase your odds by staying open and not rushing to be exclusive with anyone. It’s called dating for a reason and it’s something we should do more and worry about less. What other people think of your choices is none of your business. 

Paradise is what you make it. It’s your life and your magic, blossom accordingly.

Disney has set a lot of us up to think we are simply going to be struck by love, swept off our feet and live happily ever after, yet when Prince Charming starts bitching about your shoes being left everywhere –the glass slipper long forgotten –and Cinderella is wondering if she should have left with the Pirate instead… well, you get my point.

Unashamedly I seek more Viking-ish men. I’ve been known to say to my girlfriends, “You know, I need the kind of guy who treats you like a Queen and can still flip you over and shake the change out of your pockets.”

Where I have some learning to do, is that just because they can ‘shake your change’ doesn’t mean they have the ability to treat you like a Queen. 

Priority 1– don’t mistake Oxytocin for love! 

When we are dating multiple people, if we are being honest with those we are involved with, then that’s all that matters.

Only day 1 of this trip and I have already experienced a healing of sorts through this guy I am talking to now.

5yrs ago I came out to California and literally during my flight, when my phone was off and she knew it, my then-business-partner texted me –yes, TEXTED me after a 13yr. partnership & friendship — that she no longer wanted to be in business with me and that she was seeing a lawyer and we needed to talk when I got back. Holy shenanigans BatMan! I mean… WHO DOES THAT? –That’s another story for another time, however I can tell you I went into full on panic mode when that text came through. That ding causing severe PTSD for years. Omg it was awful. I was in the very back of the plane and literally started having a panic attack. Every cell in my body just freaking out! I was thousands of miles away and she was plotting big time.

Fast forward to today and again, not expecting a thing, I turn on my phone after we landed and it beeps and buzzes away. One of those texts being the first from a man I had been messaging on OKC. It simply said, “Hi Jennifer, Jason here. Hope you have a great trip.” — and just like that, my PTSD melted away and Pavlov’s got a whole new response to that bell. 😉 

Practicing what I am preaching, Jason is simply one of five guys I am messaging at the moment and the freedom it is giving me is amazing. I’m honestly not thinking all about them. At all! I’m thinking of myself and my life and living it fully each day. This is not selfish, it’s essential. When our well is full, then we can fully give love to others. Don’t mistake thinking of yourself as being egotistical. It’s called ‘Self’ development for a reason. I’ve actually experienced some of the worst relationships with people who are not doing any inner-work and don’t know how to take care of themselves. 

If a person can not take care of themselves… How can they take care of you?

You never know what’s going to happen when you set foot out your door and stay open to adventure. Stay open!

If you’ve been following my blog then you will probably know my heart is not ready to be elsewhere. It also simply can’t take the hurt of not moving forward. I’ll keep moving and eventually find my way. For now I will get to know Jason a bit better, which should be interesting. He’s a successful entrepreneur who lives in another state but says he’s willing to relocate and traveling-to-date is not an issue. I see why he’s casting a wide net as his proclivities are very specific. Without going into detail… think a slightly different version of 50 Shades Of Grey with a plot twist… I’ll just say, I’m staying ‘open’ to possibility and seeing what’s out there, while figuring out what I really want. Along the road, discovering who I truly am, as I fully know —that is an ever-evolving journey for us all. For instance, I would never have even considered Jason if it hadn’t been for my most recent lover opening up my world. We learn as we go. 

There in-lies a huge truth to finding your inner magick, your life is a flowing river with no end destination but the BIG end. Enjoy the flow and let the river take you where it needs to. We are not stuck. We do not remain the same. We are always changing, growing, and evolving into the next version of ourselves. That’s called enlightenment, when we understand part of the goal of life is to BE… to discover yourself, to experience, and most importantly to be you, your own unique version.


My day got even better when my shuttle driver offered to stop at a grocery before we arrived at La Costa Resort. There I bought myself some wine, cheese, grapes and other necessities 😉 Arriving at the resort, things got even better when my room was ready hours early, it’s one of my favorite locations on the property AND I have a patio with a view to paradise. Here begins 11 days of discovery, relaxation, and allowing myself to keep asking the questions… 

Who am I? What do I want? What is my purpose? Knowing those questions are essential to the seekers journey, especially when we know the answers often change and evolve… as do we.

We’re not in Kansas anymore 🙂
A room with a view… to my favorite tree here! Bliss, Moksha
Copyright 2017 All Rights Reserved The Dating Chronicles, Artemis On fire

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