If you love her don’t destroy her. If you want her, stoke the fire. 

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Right off the bat… I had to share this blog! Read it! 👆🏻

It’s also important for me to say that, as always, I feel this goes both ways. Men experience far too much emasculation these days and their feelings run deep as well. However, it remains true that if men want to truly stoke the Fire of their woman’s sexuality… it begins WAY outside the bedroom. Make that call, send that text, get those flowers… start those juices flowing throughout the day… every day! In the beginning of relationships it’s those long calls, texts and ‘can’t-wait-to-be-with-you’ feelings that we women long to maintain. I know I’m pretty simple in this department too. A call, response to my texts and showing genuine interest in me, as was the case in the beginning, are incredibly important.

I’ve literally left relationships because the person wouldn’t respond to texts. It could be days later and legit excuses… yet, if you are interested in me, you will call. If you don’t, I assume I’m not a priority and no woman wants to feel that way.

Yes, we get that you’re busy. You have things to do. We love this! Your other priorities are important… make sure we know we are too.  My friends and I laugh and say things like “I could be pushing a baby out of my vagina and still return a text!” “What is so difficult for these men!??”

I see it in action… getting caught up in your world, and since you think about her nonstop you assume she knows this. We do not.  I had a heartbreaking text from a dear friend, shortly after he knew I was dating someone new, saying “You’ll never know how much I love you.” No, I won’t. That was never communicated in a way I felt it. He went on to say…”Keep loving as big as you do, just know that you are a jewel in a world that knows little about love and most people won’t get you.” This confounds me! see my blog about too little too late It seems to be the norm for most men too. When my feelings run that deep I can’t help but share them. If I love you, you will know.

Truth… men and women think differently and have different needs, however I feel connection, connectedness, is important. It builds love, it builds trust. It’s the foundation that love can stand upon. 

Start stoking her fire throughout the day. Be the affectionate messenger of the Fire that burns for her. The simplest of gestures from our men keep our flames burning bright and you will certainly reap the rewards.


en don't want to be left wondering and it means far less to us when you tell us later how much you want to reach out. We operate in the mode of… if you want to, you will… so we come to the conclusion that somehow we are less important than we were. In truth, a bit of our Fire for you starts to go out.

Over time… this destroys us.  If you had a garden you would tend it. Create the right soil, make sure it gets enough sun, feed it, water it… and then sit back and enjoy the bounty of your labors.

Be the charming gardeners of love. We women overflow with love, affection and giving when we know where we stand with you. Show us our importance to you, treat us like the Queens you think us to be and the world is yours. Allow us to blossom and bloom in the midst of your attention and affection and you will never want for love.

I know I have whithered too long without the sun and now that it is in my life, it’s simply going to take a while before I fully thrive again. I’m also realizing that I need to raise my own standards and requests about communication. Ladies I encourage you to tell your men how you are affected by their overtures of attention and affection.

They don’t need to hear..”why don’t you call!? Why don’t you text!? Why don’t you tell me!?  They need to know the Fire of lust and love it creates when they do. Choose conscious communication and let your man know what rocks your world… believe me, he wants to know.  If you love her, don’t destroy her is a great blog. I wanted to add… if you want the deepest ocean of love, then cultivate it daily. Don’t let her whither. Shine your beautiful, radiant sun on her. Shower her with words of affection, attention & appreciation.  Have the actions that also back them up.

Starting with communication…

I encourage you right now. Text or call your SO and say… “Hey baby. I’m thinking about you… ” and whatever else rocks your relationship.  Wishing you all oceans of love, gardens of happiness and nights (and days!) of passion. Life is too short for anything else.

Go be extraordinary to your SO cause the world is full of ordinary… but they chose you! 

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